View Full Version : New Airline Rules

02-03-2013, 10:34 PM
Why I'm glad I travel in my Newell! Because you know this is whats going to happen next.

Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?

Passenger: Sure.

Attendant: Youíre in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!

Passenger: What for?

Attendant: For telling you where to sit.

Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.

Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locater fee of $5. Itís the airlineís new policy.

Passenger: Thatís the craziest thing I ever heard. I wonít pay it.

Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?

Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, Iíll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.

Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?

Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.

Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.

Passenger: What?

Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry on assistance fee.

Passenger: This is extortion. I wonít stand for it.

Attendant: Actually, youíre right, you canít stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. Weíre about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10.

Passenger: No way!

Attendant: Sir, if you donít comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really donít want me to do that.

Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?

Attendant: No, but thereís a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.

Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I canít believe this.

Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Passenger: Yes. Itís stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesnít seem to work. Can you fix it?

Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.

Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?

Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. Itís the circulating air that costs 50 cents.

Passenger: I donít have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?

Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!

Passenger: But youíve given me only three quarters for my dollar.

Attendant: Yes, thereís a change-making fee of 25 cents.

Passenger: For cryingí out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?

Attendant: Hang onto it. Youíll need it later for the lavatory.

Randy J
02-03-2013, 11:17 PM
Jay this could be true in the near future. Funny, no wonder I hate flying! :cursing:

02-04-2013, 12:27 AM
:banghead: I see it coming...

Funny nonetheless.

02-04-2013, 03:58 AM
I agree I can see this happening. They will be charging us to have the TSA grope us.

02-04-2013, 05:05 AM
Anything is possible nowadays!:ranger: Just hope they don't have more check points, I hat those hassles for sure. Been in them in California and Colorado mostly.

02-05-2013, 12:19 AM
Oh don't forget by time this happens they will be charging for the peanuts too. lol!