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06-04-2013, 10:21 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Boise Idaho
Posts: 719
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Points to ponder from Seven Wright
If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." He sees things differently than most of us.
Here are some of his gems:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
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Jon & Chris Everton
1986 40' Dog House #86
0 hp 8V92 Allison HT740
Soon to be 500hp ISM with ZF 6 Speed
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06-04-2013, 10:32 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 266
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11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... But she left me before we met.
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06-05-2013, 03:27 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The U S of A!
Posts: 368
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23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
I liked this one the best.
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Ed and Melba Covack
1993 Newell Coach Motorhome
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06-05-2013, 08:24 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 270
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I want the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But I don't want the rain haha
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Jay Wolfe
2005 Newell Coach
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06-06-2013, 04:07 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missoula, Montana
Posts: 281
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I agree with 25 and 26
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Mike & Amy
2000 Newell Motorcoach Double-Slide
2005 Jeep Liberty 4x4
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06-09-2013, 03:53 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Where ever we happen to park the Newell
Posts: 485
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Jon they are all good. but my favorite is #33.
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Randy and Leeann Jagger
1991 Newell Coach
2011 Jeep Wrangler Sahara
"If I lose today, I can look forward to winning tomorrow, and if I win today, I can expect to lose tomorrow. A sure thing is no fun.”
"Sometimes I pretend to be Normal. But it gets boring. So I go back to being me." lol!
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