The Politics of Recreational Vehicle Toilet Paper (RVTP)

[David Carrol]

The Politics of Recreational Vehicle Toilet Paper (RVTP)

It's not a secret in the RV world that conservative RV'ers prefer
single ply toilet paper. They are convinced that somewhere in the
Constitution, or The Bill of Rights, they are protected from being
forced to use double ply paper.

It's also true that liberal RV'ers, prefer double ply. They see
this as a "right to choose". They sneer at the phrase "quilted
using girlie men" and vow to take this fight all the way to the
Supreme Court.

The battle lines have been drawn. The fight is about to begin.
Liberals plan to expose conservative RV'ers. Not literally of course,
but they plan to show that conservatives actually fold and then wipe.
They say that nobody in their right mind would try to use only a single
ply to finish the job.

Conservatives counter with their own argument. They claim that years
of using one page from a Sears and Roebuck Catalog, per visit, has
enabled them to come to grips with single ply paper. They long for the
old days of the catalogs, and refuse to be forced into the double ply
world.

Liberals claim that quilted double ply is the wave of the future. And
they love the rolls with pictures of little elephants on them.

Meanwhile, conservatives are calling for Wal Marts across the nation
to remove all double ply paper from their shelves. They say if Wal Mart
refuses to do this, they will refuse to stay overnight in their parking
lots.

The RV world has taken a neutral position on this issue. They refuse
to endorse either side in this great American RVTP wipe off.

Spokesmen for each side have come forth to have their say on the
subject. Senator Edward Kennedy was seen on T.V. recently raving about
the softness of the new Charmin quilted, triple ply paper he found at
an exclusive store in Hyannis Port. Even at $42.95 a roll, he saw no
reason why poor people couldn't be afforded the luxury and comfort of
this paper.

When Newt Gingrich was informed of Senator Kennedy's remarks he said
he wasn't surprised that a left handed wiper would see no problem
with burdening the government with such a free handout.

It's obvious to this observer that the gloves have come off on this
issue and the battle will rage on. You haven't heard the last on the
Great American RV Toilet Paper fight.